Date: Jul 29, 2018 4:09 am Title: Chapter 14
Sorry about this second review, but there is just one more thing I have to say about Justin spending those three days with the boys. Instead of letting his fear guide his decision, why didn’t he just ask Gus and Luke what they wanted to do? Maybe they would have preferred to stay with him without the Grandmas around....but he didn’t even take time to even consider that possibility. I know he really feels he’s doing what’s best for the kids and is putting them first, but actually Justin is putting his fears and feelings ahead of everything else.
Again sorry about this, but the more I thought about it the more it bothered me
Author's Response:
Don't apologise for leaving more comments - I am happy this story gives you so much to think about.
Even if he would have asked Gus and Luke (and we all know what their answer would have been ;) ) that wouldn't have changed anything about his fear... Fear most of the time is not reasonable and can't be controlled easily. And even though Gus and Luke would have liked to stay with Justin, the fact remains that Justin wouldn't have felt comfortable having them stay at his place for three days and he wouldn't have wanted to stay at Britin for three days either, due to his own demons he still has to face...
Does this mean Gus and Luke will never stay with him? Absolutely not, but at this point in time, with this short notice, it was just too early for Justin to have them stay with him.
And he obviously knows that he can't avoid Jennifer and Debbie forever and he doesn't want to. We shouldn't forget that despite everything they are his mother and surrogate mother and he has loved these women very much at one point... Yes, there is pain, anger and betrayal, but they are important people in his life and there is no way Justin would never see them again. I honestly don't think that would have ever been a possibility.
Thanks so much for your additional comment - more will be up later today :)
Date: Jul 28, 2018 12:38 pm Title: Chapter 14
Hi! So, here's the review for this one...
I really love this scene between Gus and Justin! And maybe it was good, that Brian got delayed at work. It gave Justin and Gus the much needed opportunity and time to talk. Again, in my opinion Justin shows how matured he is. He could have answered different to Gus' question whether it was his Daddy's fault, that Justin stayed away. He could have take all the blame and his anger on Lindsay and Brian. But still, they are Gus' parents and I love how he thinks before he talks. but nevertheless he tries to be honest with Gus, not taking the blame on himself, just saying the one thing that is most important: That's in the past and we can't change it anymore" but we can change the way we behave now and also in the future! He couldn't say anything better I think. Referring to my review about the Pittsburgh Years, I think we see here very clearly how different Brian and Justin are and behave also because of their childhood experiences. Until he came out to his father, Justin had had a great childhood and also because of that, I think, he is able to behave so different and so mature and wise. How he deals here with Gus is wonderful. That he praises him, that he is such a good brother. He gives him attention, recognition and security. He doesn't force himself on him, but offers him any 'form of' I'm here for you ... whether as a friend, uncle, father ... That's just great!
The talk between Brian and Justin... I'm so happy about the little steps they accomplish. What in my opinion is the most important thing or sentence here, is Brian saying: “I thought we should discuss it together". And again, through your amazing writing-style, you let us feel, how hard this is for Brian. Not to be the only one in control, making all the decisions, giving up some power. He still has to learn so much more but I see here a little step, and most of all a first effort to change some things and behaviors. I was thinking back to this disaster with their Vermont trip. Back then, Justin didn't understood how important this buisnees trip was for Brian. Brian didn't explain that either, just reproaching Justin for their costly standard of living. And also Brian didn't understoo how important this little vacation would have been Justin. And again, they didn't talk! So, this is an important step for both of them and for whatever relationship they may have in the future. And I have to say it again, I see no weakness, just little positive steps, respect for one another and also love!
So, thanks for sharing another amazing chapter! I love this story so much. In my opinion, you characterized them so well and it gives me so much to think about not only about the issues they had in the show, but also about issues in relationsships per se. I'm very curious how Justin will deal with his mum and Debbie! I'm afraid that I can't review so much in the next two weeks, because I'm on vacation. But I'm still looking so much forward to every new chapter and I'll try to review them. Warmest regards to you and a happy Christopher Street Day to everyone who may be also in Berlin!
Author's Response:
Oh, are you German? Or just in Berlin for a visit? Just asking as I am German myself ;) Saw lots of pictures from CSD on the news yesterday - looked like great fun. Went to our Pride Parade a couple of weeks ago (I live in Dublin, Ireland) and me and my friend (also a QAF fan) nearly died with happiness when they played "Chiquitita" *lol*
Yes, the conversation between Justin and Gus was needed - by both of them. I also liked how Justin tried to answer Gus' questions. He didn't try to blame anyone who he knows might be important to Gus and might be hurtful for the little boy to hear, yet he tried to stay as honest as he can be with a ten year old. There is just no way that he would tell the whole sordid tale of this mess to a ten your old child - that would never happen!
And I agree - Justin and Brian are two very different people because they have been raised in very different manners. Justin grew up in a loving family home with loving parents until he came out and still has a loving mother on his side (though right now that is debatable!), while Brian never had anyone. The person that would most seem like a parent is Debbie, but we've already been over my problems with her. She might have loved him in her own ways, but she was also always very quick to blame him for any wrongdoing he had done to Michael in her mind. She has never treated him fairly and her love has always been conditional. Brian has never gotten to know unconditional love until he met Justin and Gus was born... Unfortunately, they are both controlled by their own experiences growing up which especially in Brian's case caused this huge issue :/
Yes, it's baby steps - but at least they are taking them. And yes, it is hard for Brian to give up some control and now discuss stuff with Justin. He is so used to deciding everything on his own and now suddenly there is a second person in the picture that has the right to make decisions for their son just like he does. It's a huge adjustment for him as well. One that he owes Justin, but still... It is an adjustment and he is willing to take those steps as well to make them a happier family, whatever kind of family that might be in the end.
Awww, thank you so much for your kind words :D I am just glad that you enjoy the story and the ride they are on.
The meeting with the grandmas will be interesting ;)
Enjoy your vacation! :D
Date: Jul 26, 2018 10:12 pm Title: Chapter 1
You responded: "Honestly, I didn't even think that much about Justin picking up Gus from school. Maybe it's different cultural backgrounds, but where I am from it's quite normal that something would come at work and delay a parent and me and my friends would often go home to each other's houses after school if one parent was delayed. Often enough my grandma would be waiting after school for me as my mom couldn't leave work on time. It didn't mean our parents were putting their work before us - it is just how life goes sometimes. At least that's how we see it over here. It definitely didn't make them bad parents ;)"
Oh, no, I didn't mean that Justin shouldn't have picked up Gus. Cutural differences aside, that happens everywhere all the time. I'm talking about Brian's prospective business trip to Chicago. This is just not a good time for him to put business ahead of his family. Couldn't be a worse time. He keeps being touted as being a good father, but what I see is a man who is focused on me me me. It was Brian's fear of what Justin would eventually think about *him* that denied Luke his other father. It didn't seem to matter to Brian that he was demanding Jennifer be put in a horrible situation with her own son as long as he got what he wanted. (Yes, Jennifer should have refused Brian's request, but that's another argument.) Now we see Brian planning to put his family second at a very, very diifficult time so that he can go hand hold a client, even when he has pretty much stated that the client won't leave anyway. That's what I'm referring to. That pattern of selfish thinking and behavior doesn't make me think "good person".
Lord, you have no idea how much I want to get into a deep analysis of morality, ethics and human behavior here! LOL. I just find it hard to distinguish the morality of Lindsay and Michael's behaviors and Brian/Jennifer/Deb/Ted's behaviors. The first two stole Brian's child - the others stole Justin's. And they *all* thought they were doing what was best for someone else.
I guess I want to ask, if Lindsay hadn't been convicted, would it have been necessary for Brian to forgive her for the sake of the child they shared together? For the sake of Christmases and birthday parties? Would they have had to get along for the sake of Gus' comfort during family dinners? Or would that be asking too much of Brian?
And this is my dilemma, craftily brought out by your addictive story! (And yes, I overanalyze way too many things.) Seriously, though, I was discussing this with a friend of mine the other day, and she reminded me that your characters have made me think hard about a real life situation, have turned the canon traits of a character that made me love him into the very thing that makes me dislike him so much here. It's like watching a sitcom with and then without the laugh track. There can be different emotions evoked from the same story. That's an artful thing you've done. Well done.
Author's Response:
Ah, I totally misunderstood you then. I am so sorry about that - my bad :( I shouldn't reply to comments early in the morning *lol* Not much of a morning person and can't think straight then ;)
As for Brian's business trip - no certainly not great timing, but just because he thinks Brown would be a fool for leaving, doesn't mean Brown agrees ;) And maybe, in his own way Brian also thought that this trip would help them move forward. Would help them have some more "normalcy" in their turbulent lives at the moment and maybe he even felt that some days alone with the boys would be a good thing for Justin. After all he offered Justin to stay at Britin with the boys or take them to his house instead of going for the grandmas as babysitters.
Please feel free to share your analysis - I am very intrigued :) I like that you compare what Michael and Lindsay did to what Brian and the others did to Justin - there are certainly similarities also in the way of being betrayed by people you thought loved you and you could trust... And it's interesting to see how Brian handled that kind of betrayal and how Justin will handle it.
As for Lindsay: Yes, Brian would have tried for Gus' sake. It wouldn't have been demanded of him, but he would have done it because to him it would have been the right thing to do for Gus. Why am I so sure about that? Lets just say... Back for Good - The Pittsburgh Years covers a decision like that for Brian.
Thank you so much for your kind words and you absolutely made me blush with your last paragraph :) To think that you would talk about this little story of mine to other people and discuss the characters and storylines really made me happy :) I am glad that even though you don't agree with the characters, you're still here for this crazy ride :)
More will be up soon and maybe one day we'll get to a point where we will all agree about these characters ;) One can hope!
Date: Jul 26, 2018 7:39 pm Title: Chapter 14
Justin needed that talk with Gus and to tell him everything. But I guess telling him all the bad Lindsay did really wouldn't be beneficial to either of them. Will Gus want him as a father? I hope so for both their sakes. Yes, it will take time.
I still want to know what happened with Mel. Does Justin even know? Did Imiss that in some chapter?
Taking their time away from the boys? Jennifer and Debbie should be happy he's around to do so. Baby steps I guess. He should stay at Britin with the and plan dinners with the grandmothers for the two nights Brian's away. Best oh both worlds if you ask me.
Is Justin never to stay at Britin unless it's in Brian's arms because he can't get past the past?
Author's Response:
I think at this point Justin just doesn't really know how much Gus knows about the whole Lindsay thing and how much he can tell him... he hasn't been around for four years of Gus' life and a lot has happened during that time and it must be hard to bridge those gaps without the full knowledge of what went on :/
In any case, both Gus and Justin deserve some happiness after everything they've been through.
No, at this point in the story Justin doesn't know what has happened with Mel. We know that he has at least been in email contact with her (he mentioned sending her his contracts and her reviewing them), that she has never mentioned to him that Gus wasn't living with her anymore and apparently she has also never mentioned anything about Lindsay either to Justin. The question is: Why? And will Justin try to get answers to that question?
I think Justin has his own reasons for not wanting to be on his own with Gus and Luke for three days. Good reasons? Maybe, maybe not... we'll see...
As for Justin staying at Britin - that will come up soon! And probably not in a way people are expecting ;)
More will be up soon! Thanks so much for your comment :)
Date: Jul 26, 2018 4:02 pm Title: Chapter 14
Again here we have Justin making all the sacrifices and Brian making none. And I stand by the notion that Justin is being very weak here. My goodness, he should have taken the opportunity given to build more personal relationships with Gus and Luke. Why would he back out of being able to spend some real time alone with the boys without having third and fourth parties around....and right after he told Gus he wanted to be his other father? If it were me, I wouldn’t give a damn about being at Britin or the fact that Deb and Jen missed their visit, hell they had five years worth of visits and Justin surely deserved three fucking days alone with the boys. Justin was being a bit of a coward and just took the easy way out. And as for Brian, that mofo could have found an alternative way to conduct the meeting....video conferencing is a wonderful thing. Sending a delegate would have worked as well. Yes as parents we make sacrifices for our children, but this is one time Brian really could have put business last.
Author's Response:
I think we're never going to agree on these characters ;)
All I can say is that Justin had his reasons for not wanting to stay on his own with Gus and Luke for three days. Good reasons? Maybe, maybe not. We'll see... And I think deep down he knows that he can't avoid his mother and Debbie forever and wants to have the confrontation rather sooner than later, so he can try and move on.
As for Brian - maybe he could have cancelled the meeting, but maybe this is also his way of trying to introduce some normalcy into their weird little family...
Thanks for your feedback - I really appreciate you taking the time and sharing your thoughts on the characters and story with me :D
More will be up soon! Maybe one day we'll get to a point where we can agree on the characters :)
Date: Jul 26, 2018 11:13 am Title: Chapter 14
Omg Justin is a better man than I would have been (plus I am a woman anyway lol) because I would still be harboring deep betrayal feelings to Jeneffer
Date: Jul 26, 2018 11:13 am Title: Chapter 14
Omg Justin is a better man than I would have been (plus I am a woman anyway lol) because I would still be harboring deep betrayal feelings to Jeneffer
Author's Response:
Haha, yeah, better than me as well ;) Not sure I could have been that strong, though I have to say, I would at least be inclined to try as well. I am a harmony loving person and probably would try to restore some kind of common ground with everyone as well, knowing that ignoring them is not an option in the long run. But everyone is different...
More will be up soon :)
Date: Jul 26, 2018 3:48 am Title: Chapter 14
Brian is very careful when he communicates with Justin.
The part with Gus is very sensitive and I'm happy that they seem to get better and that Justin could become his dad.
Author's Response:
It will still be a long road for them until they can interact normally with each other :(
Gus deserves to have Justin in his life as a parent - poor boy has been through enough already in his young life :(
More will be up soon! :)
[Report This]Date: Jul 25, 2018 11:00 pm Title: Chapter 14
They seriously need to talk to Gus that is one confused, scared little boy who is trying to act more mature than his age.
Justin having to be in the same place with Deb, Jennifer and the kids?
This is not going to be good.
I so want the confrontation between Justin, Deb and Jennifer but I am actually looking forward to Emmett and Daphne ripping out their pound of flesh for Justin since he will go for civility and they can be more brutal lol
Justin the adult will corral his friends but until he does let them do what he can't, why he tries to mend this situation they can be his Avenging Angels ;)
Author's Response:
Yes, poor Gus has been through a lot already in his young life :(
It will be interesting to see how Justin will interact with the grandmas... As for Emmett and Daphne - might be better to keep them away from anyone involved. Justin shouldn't have to spend his hard-earned money on bail and legal fees :P
More will be up soon :)
Date: Jul 25, 2018 9:35 pm Title: Chapter 14
Although I can appreciate the way Justin is dealing with the boys, he is still taking the beating for everything. If I can coin a phrase, he is being obscenely mature about the whole travesty. Brian has once again put him into an absolutely indefensible position, a position that is whole manufactured by Brian. Brian created it, set the balls into motion and Justin is once again responsible for keeping them all in the air. Brian could easily, just one damn time, put his own best interest aside, tell the client that he has a family emergency, and let someone else handle the business, especially when he already stated that Brown would be stupid to leave him. Why isn't he doing that? Why isn't he making the sacrifice here? For once? People do it all the time, put their families before their businesses, at least good people do. Yet we see once again that Justin is going to be the obscenely mature one while Brian gets to have his cake and eat it too. Brian's life hasn't changed much at all, even though he's the one who virtually ruined Justin's. We get glimpses of his 'guilt' but no significant action, and all the time he got Justin's son, Justin's house, Justin's mother, Justin's life........... Now, here they are, being cavalier about Justin having to deal with 'the moms'.
Your writing has me enrapt, and I'll be honest and say that my disagreement with the behaviors of the characters is part of the reason I keep reading. I keep hoping for the ah-ha! moment when Brian will redeem himself in my eyes, when Justin will fully stand up for himself, and when the house of lies they are building with the kids gets shorn up with some uncomfortable truth. I really want to find something here to rebuild my respect for these characters, but I'm at a total loss.
Now, that having been said, write faster! <grin>
Author's Response:
The whole story is already finished - I just wish that there were more hours in a day, so that between work, real life and friends and everything else I would have time to post more often ;)
Honestly, I didn't even think that much about Justin picking up Gus from school. Maybe it's different cultural backgrounds, but where I am from it's quite normal that something would come at work and delay a parent and me and my friends would often go home to each other's houses after school if one parent was delayed. Often enough my grandma would be waiting after school for me as my mom couldn't leave work on time. It didn't mean our parents were putting their work before us - it is just how life goes sometimes. At least that's how we see it over here. It definitely didn't make them bad parents ;)
So I wasn't judging Brian for finishing his business call. After all Justin said himself that he had offered to pick up Gus. It's not like he was forced by Brian to do so. As for the call - nobody said the call was with Brown ;)
Whatever keeps you reading, I am glad you are :) I enjoy your comments and I love seeing how you see the characters and the story! Hopefully I won't disappoint you too much over the course of this story ;)
More will be up soon :)
Date: Jul 25, 2018 8:01 pm Title: Chapter 14
Baby steps, but better than no steps at all. Trust is hard to regain once lost. But your wonderful writing will get them to that point. At least I hope so. Great chapter.
Author's Response:
I agree - at least it's a start. It won't be easy, but everyone is at least trying...
We'll have to see about them getting to that point or not ;) Still a long way to go!
More will be up soon :)
Date: Jul 24, 2018 3:56 pm Title: Chapter 13
I’m going to be honest, I was curious about how the end of their conversation would lead them....suffice it to say that I do think Justin came off as a bit weak in my eyes. It is way too early for Justin to be so forgiving and to be the one once again compromising himself because he feels guilty about the situation. Brian isn’t really paying for anything that he has done while Justin is constantly paying an emotional price.
I know that you say that your intention is not to excuse Brian’s behavior, but in a way that’s exactly what you’re doing. He’s getting a friendship he doesn’t deserve, was allowed to be excused of a custody agreement, and was granted forgiveness when he hasn’t earned it yet. It just seems that things are moving too fast and that Justin is putting in the position of being a victim again.
Author's Response:
It probably won't come as much of a surprise, but unfortunately, I have to disagree with you.
As I have said before, it's absolutely fascinating to me how we're all reading the same story, but getting so many different vibes and ideas from it :) Makes me happy that people share their views with me even if they might differ from mine. This world would be a very boring place if everyone just agreed on everything.
So thanks for taking the time to share your opinion - I appreciate that a lot :)
As for why I have to disagree, to me Justin is very strong here and if he knows it or not, he's actually the one holding all the power at the moment and calling the shots. Whatever he would want/demand, Brian would most likely give to him, because of his guilt.
This was mentioned to Justin by Ted and Justin saw it himself in their meeting at Debbie's. Brian wanted to give Justin a fair (in his opinion, fair enough!) custody agreement to secure his access to Luke, but when Justin said he didn't want it (he was not forced to do that!), Brian went along. Brian told Justin he could take Luke to his place to get to know him, that he didn't have to come to Britin, but Justin wanted that and Brian agreed... Justin wants them to try and be friends, Brian didn't demand that friendship, didn't ask for it and said himself that he knows he doesn't deserve it.
And as for Justin forgiving: He is trying to move forward. He said himself it will still take him a long time to work through what Brian did and that Brian hurt him badly. It's not as if Justin has just flipped a switch and now he has forgiven Brian. It's not that easy :(
Brian has tried to apologize to Justin twice (at Debbie's and during their conversation), but both times Justin didn't want to hear it. It's not as if Brian didn't try at all and is pretending as if he had done nothing wrong. His guilt has been mentioned by several people several times. Is he feeling guilty for the right reasons? That will have to remain to be seen, but at least he is feeling guilty and knows he made a mistake. And right now he's trying to make up for it by going along with everything Justin wants to make this as easy as it can be for Justin and Luke. Is that enough? Maybe not... but it's a bad situation for everyone involved and Brian knows he's the one who caused that situation.
Does any of this excuse his behaviour of the last six years? No way! But lingering in a past that can't be changed anymore probably won't do any of them any good...
Anyway, sorry for the long reply *lol* Just wanted to explain my side, but like I said: I really do appreciate you taking the time to share your view :D
Date: Jul 24, 2018 4:27 am Title: Chapter 13
Heavy on emotion! They could start (resume) as friends; where is Justin going to live?
Author's Response:
For now Justin lives in his house. Where he has his studio, etc.
No need for them to be living together as just friends, right? Right?!? Hmm....
The living situation will definitely come up at one point in the future ;)
Date: Jul 23, 2018 3:39 pm Title: Chapter 13
Hi again! Thanks for the detailed answer to my review. Just two years ago I fell in love with them and their great but complicated relationship. There is so much to think about and to learn through them, so yeah, I was - like so many other - very very disappointed by the end of the show and I haven't really understood why the authors had done something like that. After all they went through with each other and after what they had already achieved, I still think they would have deserved a better ending. In my opinion, it remains completely open whether they will ever meet again. To see Brian dancing alone at Babylon in the last scene nearly broke my heart. For me it seems as we're back at the beginning of the show, Brian is still Brian, nothing had changed. It's pathetic and so depressing. Why could they let not also Justin turn up there. Seeing all the others except Justin made me feel as if everything goes on, as if he had never existed. They would have deserved better. I still think, they could have got married. Yet, Justin could have gone to New York. For these two, a marriage wouldn’t necessarily must have meant immediate monogamy. But they would have set a sign: We belong to each other no matter what. We continue our self-determined path, we have the relationship we want. Well, anyway, it seems you are right: the focus on the show was somewhere else.
Now, your new chapter. I love it. And I’m falling more and more in love with your Justin. He's so mature, so brave and so wise. That's sadly what happens so often when two people in a relationship split up. The children are suffering and the parents, who have allegedly loved each other once, often can’t find a way to continue to deal with each other in a respectful way. Of course, here are excluded relationships in which a form of abuse has taken place. I know, some other readers see it different, but in my opinion, it wasn't abuse what Brian has done. And still, I don't want to apologize his behavior. Justin once again proves his strength, he is growing beyond himself, trying to understand Brian and his behavior, to forgive him as much as possible and to start at a new point, he offers friendship to him, because they will always be connected through Luke and also through Gus. Through his behavior, he even supports Brian, so that he can find a way to deal with his guilt, to forgive himself. Amazing! And I still believe that this is also for Justin the only way to find his own peace. I wonder how they will handle it, whether it will work and how such a “family day” will be.
There's one thing I didn't quite understand. It seems - or am I wrong and he's just sarcastic - that he still believes in the old Brian but I get the feeling Brian has already changed a lot - Love is bullshit - I don't get the impression that this is still what Brian's thinking... Sorry’s bullshit - neither that. He already tried at Deb's to apologize, he feels guilt. Maybe it's not important, but I'm curious... I could imagine that there hasn’t been many tricks the last five years… maybe not one single one… But maybe I’m wrong…
I hope that this friendship will slowly become more. This way is at least the only way which could lead them in that direction and that's why I was a little bit surprised about Brian. After what he had done, did he really thought or even hoped that they could just go on where they left off five years ago? Reminds me a little bit of S5 - Brian's pathetic behavior regarding Brandon (it was in my opinion such a hurtful scene, when Brian went after Brandon in Babylon and left Justin standing there at the bar), then they split up, and then the bomb happened. And after that there was such a rush. There were no talks or discussions about any things, expectations of the two, wishes, perspectives. As so often, they didn’t talked enough. It is obvious that he loves Justin, but now he should first work on himself, on their friendship and above all on the fact that Justin can eventually trust him again. He has to learn, not to hide behind his masks, to fight his demons and his insecurities, learn to be honest, to show feelings and not to react in this cynical way he did even in this chapter.
So, thanks for sharing this exciting story! I’m looking forward to the next chapter and send you warmest regards!
Author's Response:
Have I told you how much I love your comments? They always raise such good points and give me so much food for thought! Thank you for taking the time to send these amazing, insightful reviews :)
I would have loved to see Justin appear at the door of Babylon, a gentle smile on his face as he watches Brian dance in "his kingdom"... To me there was just no way that Justin wouldn't be there for an event as big and important as the reopening of Babylon. That made no sense to me :/ And this ending almost made it seem as if nothing had changed at all over the course of the series: Five years later he is still dancing at Babylon, still hanging out with Mikey... no growth, no development. No impact left by Justin :(
I don't want to excuse Brian's behaviour in any way and I agree that what he did was despicable, but to me it's not abuse either and to me (as I've said before) Justin is the strongest character in this story.
I know that some readers see him as not having a backbone and giving in too easily, but that was never how I saw his character. To me he is showing an incredible strength and maturity and he's trying so hard to do the right thing by his son, a son that he knows loves Brian deeply and that he also knows Brian loves. Justin would never intentionally destroy that - no matter how much he might be hurt or angered by Brian. I just don't see him as that kind of person. In addition, I also think that Justin is a person that needs harmony and needs to get on with the people in his life. He needs to move on for himself as much as he needs to do it for his son.
Lets not forget that he came back to Pittsburgh with the intention of making Brian see that he still loved him and wanted him... Yes, Justin is hurt and there is a lot of pain, but he doesn't seem the kind of person who would turn spiteful just for the sake of revenge (at least I don't want him to be that person *lol*). I think he needs them to be friends for his own peace of mind as much as for Luke's and Gus'.
Yes, Brian has definitely changed and he's not the same Brian anymore that he used to be six years ago. Having a child, becoming a single father and what Lindsay and Michael have put him through, made him change. Only so far Justin hasn't spent enough time with Brian yet, to really acknowledge the changes... As for Brian: every once in a while the old Brian still makes an appearance. He is Brian after all ;)
I think deep down Brian knows that they won't be able to go on as they have before and Brian knows that everything would be doomed to fail. Yet he was still hoping because yes, he still loves Justin (will he ever admit it???) and always has... Despite everything...
I hated the lack of conversation on the show and hated how they went from: I can't be with you because we don't want the same things in life to Let's get married without any serious conversation at all. It's one of the reasons this Justin is pressing for answers and forcing Brian to listen to him - I want them to talk! I want them to figure out a common ground that they can both live with...be it as fathers to their son, as friends or maybe even as lovers one day.
Will it be easy? No... Will there be bumps? Most certainly... Will Brian have to face his demons and his guilt? Oh hell, yes...
So much more to come before this journey is over for them :)
I just love how people can read the story and then everyone can take something different away from it :) Makes me happy that so many people are invested in these characters - whether it be hating or loving them ;)
Thanks for your comment! More will be up soon :)
[Report This]Date: Jul 22, 2018 11:38 pm Title: Chapter 13
Justin really is trying to be adult about this but it is going to take more than this conversation and time spent together for Justin to firgive. (I don't know if I could even for my child???)
Brian keeps expecting Justin to act like Lindsay and Mel which is wrong and he should've known better than to think Justin would be anything like them, besides Justin was the one who tried to talk Brian out of signing away his rights to Gus (How Quickly He Forgets?!), Justin always believed Brian could be a Great Dad its just too bad Brian didn't allow Justin to see him that way with Luke.
Does Justin also plan on talking to Jennifer and Deb too?
And how does he plan on keeping Emmett and Daphne from ripping chunks out of them because they haven't had their say yet? (Brian and Ted have to deal with them too?)
Does Brian plan on telling Gus the truth about why Justin stopped coming to see him?
Author's Response:
Yes, it won't be easy to forgive what Brian did, but at least Justin is willing to try and is willing to try to move forward.
I think, no matter how much Justin might hate Brian for what he did, he would have never pulled a Lindsay/Melanie on Brian, just because he knows how much that would hurt Brian. Would Brian deserve it? Probably, but I am not sure Justin could be the one to hurt Brian like that, even after he has been hurt so badly... Justin doesn't seem to be the person that would willfully hurt Brian for revenge.
We will hear more from Jennifer and Debbie soon - will he also be that forgiving with them? We'll see!
Haha, yeah... Emmett and Daphne will also reappear and have their say ;)
As for Gus - that one will be answered in the next chapter! More will be up soon!
Date: Jul 22, 2018 10:28 pm Title: Chapter 13
Great chapter. A step forward. Can really understand why Brian did what he did, thinking he was taking care of Justin. But, it should have been Justin's choice. Can't wait to see where they head next.
Author's Response:
I am glad you liked the chapter :) And yes, in Brian's twisted mind he was only doing what he thought was right for Justin, wanting to make sure that Justin got everything in life he deserved, but that backfired sooo badly. Lets hope Brian won't mess up like that again!
More will be up soon!
Date: Jul 22, 2018 10:19 pm Title: Chapter 13
Justin always more mature, more adult of the two. Friends just might work, but it's a big might.
Author's Response:
Yes, a big might indeed and it definitely won't be easy :/ Lets hope for Justin and everyone else involved that he's doing the right thing and that Brian won't mess this up again :(
Date: Jul 22, 2018 9:36 pm Title: Chapter 13
Justin is amazing man to push down his anger and hurt and put his sons first. At least this time Brian is listening instead of just deciding what’s best
Author's Response:
We can only hope that Justin is doing the right thing for everyone involved and won't regret it later - poor guy has been through enough :(
As for Brian, lets all hope that he's learning his lesson and will do better from now on!
Date: Jul 22, 2018 9:24 pm Title: Chapter 13
Well, after this chapter, I think this is the end for me. Maybe once it's finished I'll try again. I just can't take Justin giving in for the sake of the child. It's a disaster waiting to happen and everyone is being let off the hook for all the horrible things they did to him.
Author's Response:
Fair enough - I know this story is not for everyone.
I guess we all just have very different outlooks on life and for me Justin is not giving in - he very clearly said that it's going to take him a long time to work through what Brian did to him.
He's just trying to establish a common ground where they can all co-exist together without their tensions impacting the children. I can't blame him for that ;)
Thanks for all your comments so far! I have really appreciated them :)
[Report This]Date: Jul 22, 2018 9:23 pm Title: Chapter 13
Call me vendictive, but I couldn't forgive that easily. I'm glad they are trying.
Author's Response:
Nah, I won't call you vindictive - I think it's normal that it might take us longer/forever to forgive Brian. We're not as connected to him as Justin is and can see his behaviour more clearly than Justin might be able to at this point ;)
The road won't be easy, but at least it's a start and they're trying!
Date: Jul 21, 2018 10:04 pm Title: Chapter 12
Yikes! Well it is certainly all out there on the table now. Brian is actually hearing for the first time the cold hard facts as Justin sees, hears, and feels them. It seems he is even listening.
Now, if he accepts them, he has a lot of work to do to repair the damaage. It's clear they still love each other. Love clearly isn't enough sometimes. I'm hoping it will be for them in the future.
Good job, enjoyed this so much.
Author's Response:
I think this conversation was long overdue and maybe they should have had it years ago before Justin left for New York to figure out if that was really something he wanted or something he just thought Brian wanted him to do... It would certainly have saved them a lot of pain and heartbreak if they had just communicated more honestly back then :(
We'll see if Brian will accept his part in this and if he does, how he'll deal with the knowledge that instead of making Justin's biggest dream come true (a career in his mind), he really destroyed it and took it away from him by keeping his son a secret.
As for love - no, it isn't always enough, but like you said, maybe it might just be for them. We'll have to wait and see...
Thanks so much for your comment! More will be up soon :)
Date: Jul 20, 2018 3:38 pm Title: Chapter 12
The most awful kind of asshole, that's what you are Brian. U know this is probably where we should feel symphatetic to brian because he had to deal with the terrible two and everything else, but honestly i couldn't care less for him. Hopefully he feel as much pain as justin went through. Don't worry i'll like him back eventually, after he suffers a bit ;) (can't really hate one of the main character for ever right).
But i still want jen and deb smack down please!! I don't know about you,but debbie wasn't really my fav character in the series together with michael and lindsay. Never really cared much for jennifer though.
Can't wait to see how melanie is involve in all of this. And lindsay and michael, ughh!!
Author's Response:
Haha, I am not telling you how you "have" to feel about Brian - that's all up to you ;) Feel free to hate away all you want *lol*
I just thought it was important to see that the last five years haven't just been easy and happy for Brian either. That he also had his struggles and demons to fight with. Is that an excuse for what he did? No way! An easy attempt at getting some sympathy? Maybe :P
As for Jennifer and Debbie - something is definitely coming... They can't all avoid each other forever :(
We'll find out more about Melanie and how much she has known or not known and what happened to her...
Thanks for your comment! More will be up later :)
Date: Jul 20, 2018 1:49 pm Title: Chapter 12
Hi! Great and long chapter so it took some time to review. Again, I've so many thoughts in my mind... :-)
First of all. I want hug Justin. He’s so brave! Putting his own needs aside, thinking and worrying just about Luke, wanting the best for his son, asking for this talk, opening up, reflecting himself, being able to show his feelings and emotions (crying is not weak!)... And so on. He's so mature!
Lindsay and Michael - what should i say. I never really liked them in the show. I was a little bit shocked... Kidnapping... I haven't expected something so extreme, but they deserved to be in jail for trying to take Luke away from Brian. I ask myself what this had done to Brian's psyche... the two people who he considered some kind of best friends betrayed him... Hm, sounds somehow familiar... And it's really sad and a tragedy because he hadn't had to go through this alone if he only hadn't betrayed or considered what's best for his real best friend...
I think it's somehow funny, or not funny but so sad... Brian being disappointed by Justin that he had believed Lindsay's bullshit about Brian not wanting Justin to see Gus any longer. But at the same time believing that Justin was the one who cut Gus out of his life... And Justin also believed Lindsay although he maybe also should have knowns better. She played them well, I would say sadly, Justin is right... "When did we stop getting each other?”
Oh, it's great written. Now, I also understand Brian's anger better when they were at Deb's... In one moment of rightful anger Justin accused Brian to never wanting Luke in the first place... Just as Michael and Lindsay. Brian really needs some kind of help... betraying the one he loved the most in the worst kind of way... then being betrayed... hoping somewhere deep inside that Justin finds out about Luke through Gus...
And I think the real tragedy is that their whole discussion about who wanted whom to go, who agreed to whatever, both being afraid not being enough for one another and so on, just shows that they haven't been honest to one another, they haven't talked to one another about their needs and what they really want... Brian thinking Justin wanted this career, Justin thinking that he was less for Brian without a career, Brian thinking that he had to change completely for Justin and so on... Now, they talk, long overdued, after losing five years not only with one another but together with their son! But better now than never. I'm glad that Brian finally realized he was doing so wrong. But has he already realized what he did with it, what he took from Luke, Gus and Justin and himself with it, what they had irrevocably lost? He, who wanted to give his "prince" everything, who wanted Justin to have it all, has taken away the one thing, Justin truely only ever wanted. I'm still waiting for some kind of breakdown :-) But I'm also still hoping that they slowly will find their way from here together. It was a good start and I'm curious what Brian will do. He can't go on like this. Looking forward and warmest regards!!!
Author's Response:
Yes, I agree about Justin being brave and mature - to me he's the strongest character in this story! He could have just drowned in his pain and anger at Brian and could have just decided to never talk to him again and be Luke's parent as per a custody agreement, but he chose the hard way which actually meant opening himself up to more pain by trying to find a way to deal with all the people that have hurt him, because he knows they're important figures in his son's life. That takes guts!
Welcome to the club - I have never been a big fan of Lindsay and Michael on the show and they have always annoyed the hell out of me. It was an easy choice to make them into villains ;) As for how this kidnapping has affected Brian - we will definitely find out that it hasn't left him cold and unaffected. This is also one of the things that will be dealt with in much more detail in Back for Good - The Pittsburgh Years.
As for Justin believing Lindsay: At least she was offering him something. Even if it was only lies and betrayal - that was more than he had gotten from Brian who had just stopped talking to him from one day to the other :(
I am glad you picked up on Brian's anger at Debbie's when Justin refered to him being the Stud and that being all he has ever cared about. Justin said exactly the same thing Michael and Lindsay have always said and that has definitely hit a nerve with Brian at the time.
As for Brian needing help - that's definitely something that will come up again over the course of the story and some people might be surprised what they'll find out then ;) As for a breakdown... we'll have to wait and see how Brian will deal with this new knowledge that he took away Justin's biggest dream in life when really he only ever wanted to give him all he thought "his prince" deserved in life which for him at the time was a big career. Talk about a plan going terribly wrong :(
As for the talk being long overdue: I won't lie, I have never liked the ending on the show. I have never been happy with Justin leaving like that when just an episode before he was so adamant in telling Lindsay that Brian was his chance of a lifetime and not New York. To me it was really disappointing and didn't make a lot of sense at the time... I have always felt like there should have been more honest conversations between those two, but obviously the focus of the show lay somewhere else ;)
Thank you sooooo much for your amazing comment :D Each and every time I am impressed by your understanding of these characters and this story and I am always eagerly awaiting your comments as they also give me so much to think about - thanks for that :)
Date: Jul 19, 2018 11:40 am Title: Chapter 12
Well this chapter is something. i would like to have some empathy for Brian and what he have been going through but i really can't. at least now he know he did something really hard to forgive, now i want to see what he will do???
will he still play the "its was for your best" card or atone for what he did and how ???
Micheal and lindsay the incredible duo. Honestly i don't even want to hear about them. i have never like them and never will.
However this chapter was really great and i would like read more.
looking forward for the next chapter
Author's Response:
Yes, it will be interesting to see how Brian will deal with the guilt now that he's slowly starting to understand how wrong he has been in his decision to keep Justin out of Luke's life :(
Never liked Michael and Lindsay either, so it was really easy for me to give them the villain roles here ;)
I am glad you liked the chapter :) More will be up soon!
Date: Jul 19, 2018 7:49 am Title: Chapter 12
Wow! Totally awesome chapter. Loved all the details. Is this all we will hear about the gruesome twosome?
Author's Response:
I am glad you liked the chapter :)
We will hear more about them and also about Melanie. But the whole abduction and what led to it will be covered in complete detail in Back for Good - The Pittsburgh Years. It will be mentioned in Back for Good again, but for more depth and detail The Pittsburgh Years it is ;)
More will be up soon!