[Report This]Date: Jan 25, 2022 8:00 am Title: Chapter 20
Your story is so perfectly written and so painful to read. Who wouldn't break down at that age after all these experiences. Craig, Chris Hobbs and the bashing and the effects, Sap's party, the gossip and other people's disrespectful remarks, Brian's public and private humiliation, Michael's vile words, his "friends/family's" behavior after the Rage party and and and. And then being nearly on public display without being asked - luckily Brian was able to prevent this. "I'm his partner" - if only he had said that more often before... Oh wow, and a tiny little approximation - so beautifully written!
[Report This]Date: Mar 28, 2018 5:25 pm Title: Chapter 20
"How's the food?" That was the best thing Brian could say to break the ice, I loved it.
My heart, each time I read a chapter a different part of my heart breaks LOL. But, girl, this is so good. I hope that slowly Justin realises he can trust Brian again. Brian has a lot to learn of course, but he loves his boy and would do anything to put that sunshine smile back on his face <3
Thank God Brian got those photos taken down <3
Author's Response:
Thanks, honey. xx
Date: Mar 24, 2018 1:47 pm Title: Chapter 20
Your descriptions of the photos were so evocative. Great writing. TAG
Author's Response:
Cheers. honey. xx
Date: Mar 22, 2018 5:10 pm Title: Chapter 20
Holy shit...every week my heart continues to break for Brian...and Justin, Christ, it's just shattered...I am never disappointed with your written word, you're amazing & this story is epic!
Of course Justin sees his own lost innocense in Tommy, oh my goodness, he's such a great friend. I'm so glad Justin allowed Brian to touch him and speak to him and gave him silent permission to come back...
Brian will never forgive Michael, I don't see their friendship ever repairing after this.
I wish you had enough time for 2 chapters a week, damn real life! lol
Author's Response:
I adore you, Gloria, seriously!! But on a more serious note, you picked up on a theme there - silent permission. ;) Brian having to read actions and silences - let's see how well he does. ;)
[Report This]Date: Mar 22, 2018 2:44 am Title: Chapter 20
Renee was being selfish and very inconsiderate when she put up that photo of Justin in the hospital without his permission.
Exploiting Justin's pain for a high grade and high recognition is just such a scumbag thing to do, I hope she gets into serious trouble for her actions and she learns to be more considerate of others cause the next person won't have as much restraint as Brian had.
Brian going to Justin to give him the pictures is good they are making some progress and Brian is seeing that his actions cause Justin to react the only way he knew how.
Brian still needs to say the words because actions is what lead to Justin building walls, words are the reason why Justin only sees himself as Damaged Goods.
Brian needs to see that saying I Love You, I'm Sorry, Forgive Me won't mean the world will end.
Words have the power to destroy a heart, but they also have the power to mend a heart too.
Brian denied he felt love from Justin and that allowed Jack and Joan to win, they still controlled his life until Brian is ready to say the I Love You and not cringe then they still have the power.
Still have a long road to go.
Author's Response:
Brian still needs to say the words because actions is what lead to Justin building walls, words are the reason why Justin only sees himself as Damaged Goods.
^^^ This.
Brian denied he felt love from Justin and that allowed Jack and Joan to win, they still controlled his life until Brian is ready to say the I Love You and not cringe then they still have the power.
^^^And this.
Still have a long road to go.
^^^And this, too.
They aren't even reading the same chapter yet, let alone being on the same page. Thanks, hon. xx
[Report This]Date: Mar 22, 2018 12:56 am Title: Chapter 20
If only Brian could say the things he thought. It was a good thing that he saw those pictures and got them removed when he did. I think Justin might be one step closer to forgiving.
Author's Response:
I think Justin might be one step closer to forgiving.
Not a step; maybe a toe's hold, but not a step.
And yes, Brian will learn that he needs to say those things because silence is never a good thing for Justin.
Date: Mar 22, 2018 12:00 am Title: Chapter 20
Wow, another terrific chapter. Hopefully they are on their way to getting Justin better. Brian realizing his part in it means so much. Great writing.
Author's Response:
THanks, hon. xx
Date: Mar 21, 2018 11:53 pm Title: Chapter 20
I'm wordy. Sorry. :)
"He doubted that he would ever be able to give Justin the words that he needed, but he would damn well make sure that his actions would show Justin everything that he was unable to say."
Therapy, however one gets around to it, is a substantively selfish enterprise. Focusing on the self is absolutely necessary, making self the center of the therapy universe is almost imperative for healing/dealing, because the issues involved in therapy are pretty much, well, within the self. "Why do I feel this way?/Who am I, really?/Why do I react this way? and so on. The only person you can 'fix' is you and the only one you can fix it for is you. Brian has been seeing Alex and is doing his own introspection and, necessarily, focuses on *his* needs and deeds. Good for him. He's starting to get it. But...(and you knew there had to be a 'but' in there, didn't you? LOL) he can't fix Justin no matter how much he wants to.
Brian is still trying to fix Justin's situation rather than seeing that the problem he needs to work on can be boiled down to the first part of that sentence above. Why can't *Brian* say his words? He's getting there, but he's still so monumentally f'ed up, so stuck in the damage that he himself has never dealt with, that he still finds words superfluous. They really aren't. Working on his actions, the reasons behind and consequences of, is a good thing. But there is a damage so deep inside Brian that it has rendered him psychologically mute when it comes to things that others need - not just want - to hear. You an pat a child on the should all day long, help with her homework, take her shopping, make sure food is on the table and she has a warm bed. But sometimes that child just needs to hear the words.
I'm hurting for him (finally ;)) but he's still looking for bottom. He can finally rise up from there.
And I LOVE him for ripping down those pictures. That girl should be expelled! Those other images were public or posed, obviously. The hospital images were not. Let a picture of her taking a crap be displayed, or undergoing a pap smear! So, now that my petty little tweenager has spoken up, I can't wait for more. This is a fascinating psychological journey. Love this story!
Author's Response:
But...(and you knew there had to be a 'but' in there, didn't you? LOL) he can't fix Justin no matter how much he wants to.
^^^^^ This!! Yes!! Finally!! Brian thinks if he 'fixes his boy' then all will be well. He can't fix this - only Justin can. And the problem with that is that Justin isn't the same 'boy' that he once was. For starters - he's no longer a boy. ;)
Brian is still trying to fix Justin's situation... Why can't *Brian* say his words? but he's still looking for bottom. He can finally rise up from there.
Remember when we spoke about Brian's rock bottom? This will be a part of his journey - from this chapter on, you'll see him start that journey, and he will learn that spoken words are more powerful, and more needed, than any action given. I said in another review answer, that now it is Brian's turn to learn to read silences and actions... ;) He's on that slippery slope. He just doesn't know it yet.
I'm really glad you're still enjoying this fic, hon. Means a lot. xx
Date: Mar 21, 2018 10:47 pm Title: Chapter 20
They still have a long way to go, but the gap is slowly shrinking. Touching hands can be a first important step for them; that and the pictures that Brian gave Justin.
Author's Response:
I agree. xx